This year has been FUCK'D up, yes I said it. There is no doubt in my mind how unbelievable it has been for everyone. Financial measures up and down, companies, brands, stores, even mortgages in my local area is sky high! For just 1bd & 1restroom is becoming 250k, Maybe it's cheap for some places, but it never was like this until a lot of out-of-state people came to live here in the past yrs. A lot has changed in the northern Utah. A lot of this feels like political gain, power & of course greed in my country. But it's getting worse in the world, now we got covid-19, which everyone is still confused about, what is the real intention with it being here?? I don't want to talk too much about politics, but few bad apples fucked this all up for everyone especially always to themselves. It sucks being human sometimes. Hormones imbalanced not just during women having their monthly time, but everyone! Then we got the other crowd who are followers; a gain of self-interest, promotion, for what? greed? popularity? Anything to be on top i guess.
If you have made it thus far, now i can talk about my life; the sincerity of how it's all happening before Covid-19 came to the U.S. During Dec 2019, my husband got hit with a heart problem. Mentally, spiritually the strength of it, it had to test my family. Why before Covid-19? Life hits all of us differently, sometimes really hard. I almost lost him. We had a mysterious friend who happen to make things possible for us, his name is Reynold aka Renny. He is a simple gamer, a parent, a caring individual who happen to give us hope by rendering a profile for us for donations in care for Naydog101 aka Chris, my husband. The gaming community came together & helped get our foot back up, a hope that made us determine to not give up. We had true family coming around to also back us up spiritually and with moral support. Even before all this happening too, i forgot to mention that our truck got stolen by delinquents. Long story short, they found them & we got our truck back, but it wasn't the same as it got stolen but we were happy. A lot was on my mind and yet just recently went to visit my family & can't begin to tell them my problems, because they never ask how we really are doing or enough questions to ask who i am or simply ask little things just because...that's the realization when you're not a kid anymore, The feeling of non-importance, the that's just a "Tricia", could it be that I am intimidating? A lot goes in my mind as I found it to be complex & denied thinking that i wasn't, but i accepted that i have. I've witness & experience so much now that i'm in my mid 30's shoot i'm almost 38. I can go on and on and ramble about the details of my life & so forth. And the experiences I've had with others & what I've interpret with the stories they gave me & on about what they learned. But i can't pick all the pieces either, as my memory isn't all too perfect. But that is normal. 2020 has been super stressful for us as human beings, it's messing with my family financially especially that I am not working just yet. We've found that our insurance hasn't covered some of the bills, that we are dealing with. It's brought a lot of attention on me, and major thoughts about myself. What have I improved with my goals in life? IF you happen to ask yourself this, It is time to put in work on making the list & see what you can do, taking little step at a time. Can't deal with it right away? Take a breath & begin it another time. But try to limit the break aswell & just move forward, do something about it. And that's what i'm doing here. First I want to put these thoughts aside & then see where life takes me next.
So in conclusion, we are having it rough, no our life isn't perfect, my relationship isn't perfect, yes i can be judgmental, but you know what? I'm a real person, every human has the right to relieve their thoughts that they feel isn't right, in spite of what? Honesty! The truth! The communication is what we all need, to help us through all this. And i hate to deny that i couldn't judge, but what would make us real? We all try to avoid the stress in our life but sometimes the only way to move forward is to accept it & find the solution of it all. Hope you guys got a sense what i meant from all this. It's difficult what we all going through but I'm happy for one thing, to be alive, to have my health. And for that, will it be the continuation of moving forward and hopefully attain my goals that i'm trying to striving for. And so can you.
Also would like to give a special Thank you to NEW friends I've made this year! You guys are BOMB you all know who you are. I love you for staying by our side <3 We gamers have so much in common.